I often struggle to give myself the time I deserve to grow into my best self. It's hard to see past the job, the kids, even the parties and friends to take care of ourselves, celebrate our strength and give ourselves the space to grow. Today I’m sharing Emily’s story and tips for taking care of herself in the hopes that as you see how we each uniquely remember to care for ourselves we are better prepared to take care of those we love and bring our best selves forward. I hope you enjoy Emily’s sassy self love as much as I do. xo Jenna
My name is Emily Schoper I go by Em, Emma, Emmy, Cerny (my maiden name) and as of late mamaschop. I have been a hair stylist for 12 years, I am wife to Scott and we have two littles Mae (3) and Hugh (1). I am a life lover, foodie, booze drinking, entertainer that can't wait to share her mommin secrets with you all. We are in this together and if I can help give you tips to make life a little less hectic that is my goal.
Late on a Saturday night a couple weeks ago, I found myself dozing off in my glider up in the nursery. That beautiful light grey-modern-special ordered-$1500 glider (yes $1500) and ottoman that I had to have for our first baby's "perfect" Pinterest nursery. You know the one you spend hours pinning things for because you're pregnant and sometimes feel like you are alone in this world of human growing and if you can't, eat, drink or do what you want you should just stay home and eat shit food (because you can), drink pop (because now it’s a treat), take naps and stare at the sometimes horrid changes that your body is going through (national geographic areolas, yep I was the proud owner of those by about week 9...yikes) and of course sit on the internet. Weather pinning ideas for those perfect maternity and newborn pics, finding that crib and décor you have to have or even sitting on 'doctor google" searching every single new twinge and sign of pregnancy you are experiencing… we have all been there.
So as I realized I had fallen asleep in that chair for approximately 3 whole minutes I awoke to think how did I get here? How did I get to the point of spending a Saturday night alone in the nursery with no baby in my arms, now rocking myself to sleep in my expensive ass, had to have glider that now has red Tylenol smeared all over it from remnants of Mae's tonsillectomy, pen markings all over the ottoman (how did she even get a pen up here) and crusty almost moldy breast milk dried in the corner from all those nights nursing and pumping and crying that I couldn't do this anymore and why did we have a baby and I quit. Once again how did I get here?
Then I come too and realize I got here because I am real, I'm human, I'm not perfect. I am a full time working mama, with 2 daycare drop offs across town from each other, a house I want to look immaculate that I barely have time to enjoy let alone clean, a marriage that has somewhat suffered because of my crazy hormones, and 2 kiddos under 3. My dreams of that Pinterest house, model looking kids, Organic eating family, perfect wardrobe, coiffed hair and goal weight have basically been shattered because in the last 3 years I have learned that the things that matter are these.
My husband, he is my better half and shares duties. Our children- we live for them and all I want is for them is to be kind respectful humans. Our families because without them we wouldn't be where we are today and lastly mamas, yourself. We are beastly and brave, even when we feel like we are doing nothing right and failing we are doing so much good. I want to share with you how I have kept myself sane and in touch with the woman (not just mom) that I am.
- Get a drink. Now in my world that would be happy hour consisting of wine, a craft IPA or a mixology cocktail with fresh honey or lavender. But in your world this could mean a Venti Macchiato with whip and all, the biggest cup of Diet Coke from the fountain you can find or hell even an overpriced La Croix at the Co-op. Whatever it being spend the extra dollars and do it. It’s so simple and you will enjoy every minute of it.
- Exercise. Now this one I wish I had time to do more. I actually recently bought myself an amazing new bike. I am slowly getting back into it and let me tell you nothing clears my head more than a trail, my bike and Pandora. So even if it’s a yoga drop in, a walk with a neighbor or a 5 min YouTube video take a deep breath and do it.
- Buy a new outfit or just a new piece of clothing. I LOVE CLOTHES. I even have a side hustle at a local boutique because I love clothes that much. I always have. And remember to dress yourself at the point you're at in your life. If you're heavier buy the size, who cares, you will look better then trying to fool yourself that you're not spilling out of your brand new now "goal pants".
- Treat yourself to a spa service or legit haircut. Obviously I am a huge advocate on this one because mamas, I will be honest there are some terrible haircuts lurking out there. You will feel better and if your hair doesn't matter get a gel mani or a facial they are my fave.
- Take a momcation! This is a new one for me, and I decided to do it the week of my birthday. That's right! Dropped the littles with nana and papa and took off for a four hour drive to our family lake home for the night. I ate at my favorite places, watched the sun set and rise from the dock, slept alone in a king sized bed, jammed my music so loud and got drunk on red wine. ALONE. It was fantastic, I needed it, my marriage needed it and frankly it was the best thing I have done it a long time. It was 24 hours of reflection on me. What I want, what I need, what can I do better and how I can be the best me.
So mamas in my last words to you. Please take care of yourselves. It is hard to do but whether you are working, staying at home, 1 kid, 10 kids, married or single. We are in this together and we need to help each other out. This is the toughest gig out there.