Giving Grace : a note to new mothers

Whenever I attend a baby shower and they do the activity where they pass around paper + pens and ask for us to all write down some words of wisdom for the new mama to be I know exactly what I want to write. 

“Grace. So much grace.”

Usually the papers are small and people write all kinds of “great advice” on them… sleep when the baby sleeps. Go on monthly date nights. Let the dishes and laundry go to snuggle the baby.

They mean well, their hearts yearn to tell the new mother that this insane life change that’s about to hit them is going to be both glorious and terrifying.

But I want to tell this sweet mama, with her glow of anticipation of all that is to be, that it’s going to be hard. It’s going to be beautiful and ugly simultaneously.

There will be moments of heart bursting love.

Moments of exhaustion and unkind words.

Tears, from everyone, for any number of reasons.

Triumphs.

And mistakes.

And through it all, the one thing I wish for all new mamas, is grace. Grace for their partners + their babies, for their well meaning family members and strangers who ask completely rude and inappropriate questions while offering unsolicited advice, for the person who steals the “reserved for new and expectant mothers” parking spot at the grocery store, and for the receptionist at the clinic who will tell you it’s a 10 minute wait and 30 minutes later still hasn’t called you and your screaming child back for your appointment.

Grace. For all of them.

But most of all... I wish for these mamas that the same grace they extend to those they love (and those they don’t) they also embrace for themselves, and for the other mothers around them.
It’s the best (and honestly the only) advice I like to give new mothers… “Grace. So much grace.” Trust me, you’re going to need it.

xo, a